Give yourself a gift of a new beginning!
If you are a perfectionist like me, we incline to push ourselves harder. We are ambitious and set high expectations (unrealistic, at times). And when we couldn’t meet this expectation, we beat ourselves up. This created self-inflicted pain through shame, regret, or resentment.
Alongside, the belief of I am not good enough is reinforced each time we had to go through this. Yet, this self-abusive treatment is our source of failure. Our avoidance of this pain demotivates us from taking actions or decisions. We become a procrastinator and overthinker because we need to get all our ducks in the row before taking the next step.
We are waiting for the right time, right opportunities, or signs from the Universe that all stars are aligned with before deciding, acting or realizing our dreams. This is not how life works. We are here to experience all aspects of life. Our life stories consist of invention and reinvention. We are constantly recreating our life experiences through a series of realignments to our needs and desires.
Mistakes and failures are not the outcomes. They are simply feedback on what works and doesn’t. They are shaping our future actions and decisions. Clarity can only come from the iteration process. That means with every step we take we get to know our desire better.
Further, we are dynamic being who is constantly evolving. Our thought, feeling, and belief are constantly up-leveling. Our decision at the time was based on our best knowledge. Our wishes advance due to raising our consciousness. Further, manifesting our desire requires us to take the first action. A step regardless of how big or small and right or wrong is still a step closer to our desire.
Perfectionists don’t like to forgive themselves. Because forgiveness may feel like a failure. It’s a confession of I am not good enough or smart enough in attaining my goals. This is the biggest fallacy of a successful mindset. The real failure is not making mistakes. It is inaction. Without taking action, we don’t move any closer toward our goals and dreams. We don’t get to know ourselves better.
Further, a perfectionist is the behavior of a wounded inner child. This inner child experienced punishment and withdrawal of love from making mistakes or not complying with her (his) caregivers’ demands. This unhealed wound is the reason why she (he) feels insecure in taking action without having an emotional guarantee of not getting punished or losing love.
Yet, the emotional dependency paradox suggests that, as people raise their level of emotional dependency on another, the more independent and daring they become. Emotional dependency offers a safety net that hinders fears and consequently promotes a higher level of risk appetite which leads to more success opportunities. The higher the risk, the greater the reward will be.
Generally, we are looking for emotional safety from our loved ones, friends, families, or partner. However, we can give ourselves this emotional assurance through self-forgiveness. Forgiving ourselves is an essential element of self-love. Self-forgiveness is an acceptance that who we are simply good enough. This in turn fabricates an emotional safety net that catches us shall we fall.
My compassionate passage for self-forgiveness:
Yes, I failed you, me, and us.
My mistake hurts you, me, and us.
I accepted the consequence of my action.
But today I choose love.
I am forgiving myself for the mistake I made.
Giving myself compassion.
The mistake I made was the right decision at the time.
As I forgive myself, I release this trauma that is no longer serving.
I let go of my need to punish myself through shame, regret, and resentment.
The mistakes I made were necessary for my growth and evolution.
Now, I choose to take the courage to restart my journey once again.
I deserve to have a new start.
Dear self, I unconditionally love and accept myself regardless of my achievements.
Lastly, learn to stop and smell the rose. Enjoy your life experience and let go of the need to rush to the final destination. Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take but by the moments that take your breath away. Focus more on creating each momentous experience.
